Thursday, February 06, 2014

Libertarian humor

I would like some libertarian jokes for an upcoming CNJ column.

That means they have to be "family friendly". I would prefer nothing mean-spirited, either.

It would probably be best not to come up with original material, since it probably won't be credited. I can do a search for some- and I probably will- but have you read any that amused you particularly?

If you'd like to join in, leave a comment with the joke.




  1. Why did the libertarian chicken cross the road?

    Am I being detained?

  2. That's actually a variation of the very first one I had put down- the one that gave me the idea. Great minds think alike!

  3. Everybody's favorite:

    A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.” The rancher says, pointing, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.”
    The DEA officer explodes: ”Mister, do you see this badge? I have the authority of the Federal Government with me. This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish--on anybody's land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear?”
    The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.
    A short time later, the rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life, chased by the rancher’s big Santa Gertrudis bull.
    With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he’ll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified. The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs:

    ”Your badge! Show him your BADGE!”

  4. How many libertarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    None. If the market wants that light bulb screwed in, it will happen on its own.