Friday, May 10, 2019

National Fingernail Policy

Why doesn't government have a plan for fingernails?
They don't tell the citizens when to trim them or clean them. They don't have rules about fingernail decoration-- paint, sequins, protective coatings, shapes.
What about the danger of extra-long or sharp assault fingernails? No one needs those on our streets! 
What of nail-biting? And hangnails? And what about toenails?
Why? Why doesn't my government tell me what to do? How do I know if I'm doing it right? I can't! I'm on my own. There's just chaos! DOOOOM!!!

And this is EXACTLY how stupid statists sound when they whine that they want government to have a plan for other things-- health care, "immigration", trade, climate-- too.

If it's important to you, come up with your own plan and follow it. Don't rob the rest of us to silence your bonnet-bee.


Reminder: I could really use some help.

Writing is my job.
YOU get to decide if I get paid.


  1. I can't wait to hear the rules of the government program. This one's a real nail biter.

    We might even need a new agency to oversee this.

    1. Might require a new facet of prohibition. A new excuse to kidnap and murder people for doing things "we" don't like.