Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Defense of Marriage...?

My marriages failed because of ME.

Before I had ever heard of gay marriage.

I probably could have saved at least one of my marriages by doing a lot of things different; by putting forth a lot more effort and sacrifice.  But what uninvolved "others" were doing couldn't have saved them.  My marriages would have failed regardless of what relationships or marriages other people- most of whom I don't know and will never meet- choose to engage in.

So, to claim you are "defending marriage" without addressing the reason mine failed- probably the same reason the vast majority of marriages that fail do so- is silly.

No one else's relationship status can threaten my relationships, or weaken them in any way, unless I let them.  And that would probably mean I am focusing on the wrong thing.



  1. You've hit the nail on the head again, Hawk!

    My life began to change drastically for the better once I began to examine my roll that led to the destruction of my relationship with the mother of my seven kids. I often wish she could have also exercised some self-examination.

    But her behavior was not and is not my responsibility. My behavior is my responsibility -- regardless of your or anybody else's behaviors.

    The only way I can "defend marriage" is to cut the crap out of my attitude. Parasites of state have no input in that.


  2. All of the "public" discourse I read and hear regarding "marriage" has very little to do with personal relationships. The vast bulk of it is about either privileged or imposed special legal status. The privileged variety is related to tax advantage and the imposed type the usual usurpation of control; both economic and legal, from individuals by the State. Personally I don't see why anyone would want the sanction from some collective; civil or sacred, that imposed such abrogations over their self ownership but if they insist on it through their own choice or the pressure from a partner that they lack the will to resist, then at the very least they should be able to do so through voluntary contractual means absent any dictation of terms or official recognition or benefit.(I was going to preface this with an acknowledgement that I was "single" but after the opinion above this is surely redundant!)

  3. Marriage is a working proposal. Nothing more nothing less. But in the down hill slope it sure is nice to have someone with you who cares about what is happening to you.