Sunday, November 08, 2015

Fire extinguisher control

"In case of fire, keep a fire extinguisher on hand"

No, no, no. Having a fire extinguisher in your home makes you 72 times more likely to be burned to death in a house fire. Having one is a sign of paranoia.

 Plus, if you are ever in a fire, a fire extinguisher would probably just overheat and explode in your hands, making you worse off than if you had been without one.

You're better off to dial 911 then sit and burn while waiting for the professionals to come save you. Don't take the firefighting into your own hands. Firefighters are professionals, so you don't need an extinguisher.

Besides, you don't really believe an extinguisher can douse a refinery fire, do you? Delusions of grandeur, for sure! You must be compensating for something!

If you simply must be a lowlife coward redneck and have one anyway (unlike a real, modern man), keep it empty and locked up so children can't get access and hurt themselves with it.

 And for Brady's sake, bubble wrap it- those things are heavy and might break a toe if dropped!



1 comment:

  1. Kent-

    Certainly, you would not object to reasonable restrictions such as a waiting period after purchase, to check that the individual does not have a criminal history or mental health problems. This is for the safety of the children, of course.

    Certainly, you would not object to mandatory licensing. A fire extinguisher is a complicated device that requires hours of training by a state approved professional before it can be used safely.

    Certainly, you would agree that laws should be created to disallow use of unlicensed fire extinguishers in movies, so as to not corrupt our impressionable youths and give them the idea that just anyone can safely use a fire extinguisher.

    My God, you certainly must approve of “Extinguisher Free Zones” in our schools, to keep our children safe from unlicensed extinguisher use and the possibility of mass child casualties.

    Come on, man. Get real