Friday, April 02, 2021

Kinderprison blues

My daughter is fighting to go back to kinderprison next year. 

She wants to be a part of the middle school girl drama that caused her so many problems over the past couple of years before Covid gave me the excuse to withdraw her from that mess. (Well, it gave her mom the excuse to finally agree to it.)

I've told her there are plenty of ways to get caught up in drama without being in kinderprison, but apparently, she also misses the lack of education that occurs there. It's easier to get by without even pretending to learn anything in the classroom than it is at home.

Somehow, 2 hours or so per day-- beginning at 10 AM or later-- spent on education is more burdensome than being dragged out of bed-- tired and groggy-- at 7 every morning to spend 8 or so hours on schooling. Something she has always hated and not been shy about saying so.

But now that seems better to her than the way she's been doing it?

It's frustrating.

Her mental and emotional health has improved dramatically since she got out. Of course, she gravitates toward online "friends" who bring heaps of drama of their own sort. Middle school girls are a big mess of toxic social contagions. But at least there doesn't seem to have been any bullying.

I'm opposed to simply saying "Because I'm the parent, that's why!" In this case, it's tempting. 

I've been considering some sort of binding deal to offer her. I still have time to work something out. I just hope it's something that doesn't make things worse.


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  1. My daughter, in her last year at her non-government charter high school, has been attending on a two days virtual and two in person. She likes that. I think what you are missing, though is that your daughter isn't missing the "education", or lack thereof. She is missing the social aspect. Friends, acquaintances, etc. You're right that middle school is toxic. Always has been. But kids are social animals, especially our girls. It's in our DNA and goes back as long as we've been human. Probably before that, even. I'm fortunate that my daughter (who was going through hell at her old government schools) got a lot better at her non-government charter. Wish that was an option for you guys! I'd let her go and keep a close eye on everything. Then, if you need to, get her out. We have to learn from our actions and mistakes, and that applies to our kids, as well.

    1. Good advice. I may end up doing that. I don't understand why she can't socialize outside of the school, though. But apparently, she can't.

  2. For real...

  3. "I never let my schooling get in the way of my education..." - Mark Twain

  4. When I was being homeschooled I pitied the kids who had to sit at a desk ALL DAY. I think I probably did miss out on socialization but at the time I resented any such suggestion. Besides, I had plenty of time to be picked on after school. Er, I mean, socialize. I think that's probably what she misses - friends, social activities, all that. Getting out of the house for a while has a certain charm as well. I hope she can see sense or maybe come up with some kind of compromise, like doing some kind of after school activity with her friends but not returning to Kinderprison.

    1. Yesterday she did go hang out with some friends for a couple of hours. I've been encouraging her to do so.